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sometimes I wake up cradling a gourd

19. Rhode Island.

I'm really good at avoiding confrontation and I watch too much netflix

romankyaryday:

i went to a new school when i started second grade and i still remember what my parents said to me as they dropped me off on my first day at the new school: “dont do your yoshi impression, it’s weird and you’ll make no friends.”

(via christianmingle)

theonion:

Area Man Cleans Apartment Once Every Relationship